Lets face it, I'm pretty bad at updating this thing. In my defense, last semester was like being in Hell while still having to work and go to school. Everything that could have sucked sucked more and I just couldn't bring myself to exert effort onto anything other than what needed to be done right at that moment. Well that was long-winded, Ok I'm done now. The truth is I have stuff to say that Brian would really rather me type out instead of forcing him to sit and listen to my "problems".
Speaking of "problems" that's one thing I have issues with. I don't think I have problems. I've always had the idea that other people have bigger issues happening to them every day that I'll never have to experience, making my "issues" irrelevant and petty. I shouldn't complain because honestly my life is pretty good, directionless, but good. Is this healthy to feel as if I don't deserve to have problems? I guess it keeps me positive to an extent, but I do feel the occasional only-child rage with not being able to let them out without someone saying "You have a great life goddamnit, now stop whining".
Anywho, upon starting my foray into much higher education (grad students really are the worst people on earth) I've really tried to tie down what I want to do with my life and I've come up with a few things :
1. Travel- who doesn't? This probably won't make a fabulous career choice seeing as it's not really a career that exists for pretty much everyone (Damn you Samantha Brown/ Rick Steeves!)
2. Yoga teacher- In a perfect world where everything I did was awesome and ice cream was a health food, this is what I would want to do all day. I always said I didn't want to be a teacher, but in yoga classrooms no one else is allowed to talk, and that is greatness. My problems at the current moment with making this a reality are:
-My spare tire. I'm not afraid to say I have a muffin top and I'm also not kidding myself when I say it really effects my postures. If I could have it surgically vacuumed out of my midsection or wake up to it magically gone I think I would be much better at most things.
- Funds. I'm a broke as college student. My salary at work is int he 7th percentile for dental assistants with my experience level. That's WITHOUT counting my bachelor's degree. FML. Teacher training is not donation based, it's based on how much money they can get out of rich white girls like me.
- My parents may kill me or disown me. I'm one of those people whose parents have saved to put me through college and grad school. For some reason they see many opportunities for someone with an MFA in creative writing who has worked in a dentist office for 5 years to find something related to my field. I just want to do yoga mom and dad, and I wouldn't mind you funding it either..... :(
Where I'm going is kind of a white background with "NOWHERE FOR NOW, ENGLISH DEGREE. I MEAN REALLY? C'MON!" written in big rainbow letters (to soften the blow). I'm not saying it's "an open road full of lanes of possibility" because that's just fucking retarded (yes I do yoga and say 'retarded' without regret). I know I'm lost, my undergrad adviser said I could be whatever I wanted with an English degree because most people will take you just because you have a degree. I don't want to hate my life, but I also don't want to live in a trashcan that I'm too poor to insure. I guess what I'm trying to get at is, if you want to give me $40million it would make my life easier, but I'd still like to provide for myself.
Well that was a rant. Oh well, hopefully I'll actually update this with useful things seeing as how my semester is almost over and I have NO SUMMER CLASSES. Booyah.
